


Run the Sword Back in the Stone

by Bluehaven4220



Category: due South
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Healing Sex, Wakes & Funerals, saying goodbye is difficult, smut with feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-08 12:54:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11082015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluehaven4220/pseuds/Bluehaven4220
Summary: Constable Karen Alexander, having only worked at the Consulate for six months, receives a letter and must return home as next of kin. Constable Benton Fraser, knowing how difficult it is to lose a loved one, does not let her face it alone, catching the next flight to Regina and attending the funeral in support.





	Run the Sword Back in the Stone

**Author's Note:**

> This was, years ago, a story that was part of another fandom, but I thought it would work well with due South. I started reworking it in November, and now I'm very excited to share this with you. 
> 
> Special thanks to ButterflyGhost for the beta and cheerleading on this story. Any remaining mistakes are mine.

I’d read the letter so many times I was sure I could recite it from memory if you’d asked me to. I think I kept reading it because I couldn’t believe it was true. The words on the page no longer made any sense. My brother Niall could not be dead, and the military could not be sending me a letter telling me so. But no matter how many times I read it, willed myself to believe this was sent in error, I could no longer deny it. The days leading up to my receiving said letter had been particularly busy and stressful. However, once we settled back into the routine and familiarity of the Canadian Consulate, I decided, even though it would break my heart, and more than likely leave Constables Fraser and Turnbull short handed, I had to do it. I had to ask Inspector Thatcher if I could leave.

I made my way to her office and knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

“Inspector Thatcher…”

She  looked up at me over the top of her glasses. Seeing how red my eyes must’ve been, her expression immediately softened. “Is everything alright, Constable?”

“No ma’am, not really…” I answered. I’m sure this was the first time she’d ever seen me express emotion.

“Come on in, sit down,” she told me. I obeyed and waited till she said something. I handed her the letter I’d received, and told her I had to go back to Regina. I was my brother Niall’s next of kin in my mother’s place, and I had to receive his body. Until he landed on Canadian soil, and his casket laid to rest, and his flag handed to me, he was the property of the Canadian Army.

I don’t remember saying goodbye to either Constable Fraser or Constable Turnbull, because I don’t think I did. I think I saw Inspector Thatcher nod, telling me that there was no way I was to be back in Chicago behind my desk until I had taken care of my brother’s affairs. Once I had done so, and of course I would be granted compassionate leave (how much I actually used was completely up to me), she’d be glad to have me back.

I don’t remember the flight back to Regina, but I remember my best friend Shannon came to meet me. She hugged me tightly and told me my mother was waiting at their house, helping her husband Sam finish any last minute arrangements for guests.

I barely remember saying anything once I got in the door. I know all I had to do was take one look at my mother, hold up the letter, and fling myself into her arms. She sat me down on the couch and stroked my hair as I cried. I knew she was upset too, but she didn’t show it. My mother was funny that way. Shannon made a pot of tea and sat down with us while Sam got their kids, four year old Natalie and six year old Brianne into bed.

I know the funeral was arranged by the Army. Any time a soldier died serving their country, they were given a proper send off. I don’t remember writing the eulogy, I know I wrote one, because if no one who knew him said anything at his funeral, then we would not be able to accept that he was really gone.

ooOoo

The day of the funeral, after we’d all gone home to Shannon and Sam’s backyard, I stood up in front of my brother’s friends and my family, and said what I needed to say. Looking out into the crowd of people, I saw a familiar face: Constable Benton Fraser, dressed in his red serge, had come to pay his respects. I hadn’t even told him I was leaving, how could he possibly have known? I guess it also says something that I hadn’t even noticed him at the funeral, and usually the red serge makes him impossible to miss.  I hadn’t even noticed that splash of red, and I should have, as he would have been the only other Mountie in the church and therefore would also be the only other Mountie in the backyard. Biting back tears, I struggled to focus on what I had written. I’d only had a day or two to write it, so I just put pencil to paper, and the entire eulogy spilled out.

If you’d like to hear what I wrote, here it is. Please know that it was the worst, most difficult thing I’ve ever done, but I needed to do it. I hope you won’t judge our family based on what you see here. This is my goodbye to one of the greatest men I think I’ll ever know, and I am choosing to share it with you.

_I know why you are all here today, and I’d like to thank you all for coming. To me, it seems really odd that we’re standing here, mourning and marking the grave of someone that was here just two or three months ago._

_People have asked me why it had to be Niall that decided to join up and risk his life for our freedom, and all I can say is this: I don’t know. When I asked my mom the same thing she said “You only have a limited amount of days, Karen, and when your time is up, it’s up.” I wonder if she really believes that. She never mentioned anything to do with believing in God or a higher power, or religion before this… maybe she thought it might help in some way. As much as she tried, it doesn’t help at all, the pain is still there._

_I’m not really sure what I can tell you. Everyone here knew our family at some point. Some of you may not know us all that well, and I could ask you what  you’re all doing here, but I won’t. It’s not what Niall would want. He accepted all people, no matter what. In fact, having you here shows just how much Niall meant to you, and how much this group of people meant to him._

_I guess I should tell you a little bit of why he might’ve made the decision he did. I moved from home to Chicago for work a little over a year ago. I guess most of you know that I’m a new member of the RCMP. Before I left for Depot he told me he’d look after our Mom. We’d fallen on really hard times since our Dad died, and I needed to get out and be independent. Niall hugged me and told me I was strong enough to go out and do it. He gave me the courage I didn’t know I had. When I left he told me he’d get there eventually… he’d do the same thing when Mom could stand on her own two feet._

_He joined up very soon after I left, apparently, and came down to the Canadian Consulate just before he was shipping out, to tell me so. He didn’t tell me where, because he didn’t want me to worry. It seems strange, if I didn’t know where he was, how could I_ **_not_ ** _worry? We had one of the worst arguments we’d ever had, and I ordered him out of my office. I didn’t want to believe it was true, that if I pinched myself it would all be just a horrible nightmare that I could wake up from. When he tried to apologize all I said was “I’ll never forgive you for this. If I never speak to you again it’ll be too soon.” Those were the last words I ever said to him. If I had known what was going to happen, I wouldn’t have said it. Believe me, I wouldn’t have said it. I would’ve told him I was proud of him, and lucky that he was my brother._

_Niall was the one who taught me my first word. It didn’t matter that the word was a profanity, Mom said, so long as I was talking. My daddy was an oil rig worker, swears weren’t a big deal, and neither was walking around naked. We were a bit kooky, sure, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t laugh, cry, play together. Come to think of it, we didn’t have much time for playing, but when we did it was mostly because we only had each other._

_If Niall could poke fun at you, and try to get under your skin, he would. But he wouldn’t think twice of extending a hand to pick you up when you really needed it. No matter what he was doing, he’d stop to help you._ _For example, he took a job he hated so that we wouldn’t be homeless. He worked long hours in a tar pit for me and my mother, and now that he’s gone I won’t ever be able to repay him. I’ll be honest, I don’t know for sure and I probably will never know, but I need to believe he found and died for something he believed in. As far as I understand it, he was out on a routine patrol, walking in the footsteps of the person in front of him, as you’re supposed to, and then he stepped on a landmine. Come to think of it, that’s really not a reason at all. The letter I got told me that civilian lives had been saved in the process. In essence, my brother’s life was sacrificed for the greater good. Cold comfort._

_All I’m trying to say I guess is that I believe Niall died a hero. A son, brother, and a friend first, a soldier and hero second._

And there you have it. That’s all I have left of my brother. Niall Anthony Alexander, born November 26th, 1965, died May 6th, 1997.

I’d miss him more than you could ever know, and truth be told, I didn’t know if I’d be able to go back to Chicago, not after this.

Just as I stepped away from the crowd, I saw Benton Fraser standing off to the side, as though he’d been waiting for me.

“Ben…” I breathed as I leaned into him. He wrapped his arms around me. “Thank you for coming.”

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” he whispered as he held me.

“Thank you,” I drew in a big breath as I tried to keep my composure. I’m sure I wasn’t doing a very good job of it. “I’m sorry, I’m not doing very well right now. I should be more together, especially for my mother.”

“It’s alright, really,” he briefly pulled away and offered her a handkerchief from his breast pocket. “From what you’ve shared with me previously, and from your eulogy, Niall was your brother but also your best friend.”

“For a very long time, he was my only friend,” I wept, dabbing my eyes with the handkerchief. “I know I’ve never told you this, but for quite a while after my father died, there were children at the school who kept repeating the same thing: that my dad had purposefully jumped off that oil rig and drowned, because my mother was the town skank. Of course, that’s not true, and I have no idea where a six year old would have learned the word skank, but my mother was devoted to him. I continuously got in trouble for beating them up, I couldn’t let them say those things about my mum. After school, Niall was the one to pick me up in the principal’s office and then walk home with me.” Karen sniffed and wiped her eyes again. “God, it just seems so stupid now. My brother is gone and it’s all my fault.”

“No, it is not your fault,” he whispered to her. “You were in Chicago, and he was probably halfway across the world.”

“God damn it, Ben, that’s my fault too!” I had read about this, about blaming oneself when you lose a loved one, but it’s different when it lands in your own lap. “When I first joined the RCMP we were all living in a cramped two bedroom apartment because none of us could afford anything better. Niall was sleeping on a shitty fold out couch, shoveling tar every day while I worked twelve hour shifts at the grocery store. My mother was a seamstress. All three of us working and barely making ends meet. What kind of life is that? If I’d not been such an uncomfortable and unsettled bitch, running off to Depot the first chance I got, he’d still be alive!”

I took a deep breath. This was sitting on my chest, the weight of my decision crushing me. Why had I gone to Depot and left them? Why had Niall decided he should join the Army and then left our mother with no one? Even if he sent money back, that didn’t replace him, and it didn’t replace me. I may have broken her heart by leaving, but he had more than likely shattered it.

 _Damn you, Niall Alexander_ , I silently cursed him. _How dare you do this to her? How dare you do this to_ **_us_** _?_

Realizing that I was still talking to Ben when I should have been circulating and thanking other people for coming, I straightened my lanyard and went to see how my mother was doing, with a promise that I’d seek him out later. Ben and I weren’t especially close, but the only reason I knew I could hold it together was because he was there. Plus, he hadn’t needed to come up to Regina, he’d done it because he thought I might need support, and that probably meant he’d have to head back to Chicago tomorrow morning. Inspector Thatcher would need him back as soon as possible.

It was a few hours later that everyone had cleared out, and after Natalie and Brianne were in bed, worn out from the day, that I found Ben again. He’d stayed behind and was now helping my mother with the dishes. He’d taken off his tunic, looking a lot more comfortable in his Henley and suspenders, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. I’d changed out of my uniform a few hours before, wanting to be a bit more comfortable if I was going to be walking around and getting a lot of things done. It seemed to work well. Smiling to myself, I wrapped the leftovers and put them in the freezer and fridge. When I’d moved and Niall had deployed, my mother Kate had moved in with Shannon and Sam. Having two girls under the age of seven was a big job, especially if they both worked full time. At least with the two girls around, Mom wouldn’t be lonely, and it gave her something to look forward to each day. Filling the hours would help keep her mind off the fact that both her children were gone and far away. My mother had married at the age of eighteen, was a mother by twenty-one, and a widow at twenty-nine, she had told me. She still had plenty of energy, and why not be useful?

I suppose that made sense, and with less bills to pay, it was less of a financial strain on her. God knew that was a relief. Mom had struggled for years; and she deserved a rest.

As she and Ben finished the dishes, I heard him suggest that she should follow Natalie and Brianne’s lead and have an early night. For the first time, I saw my mother looking _tired_. Instead of her usual insistence that she was fine, she simply nodded, thanked him, and packed herself off to bed.

I put the last of the leftovers in the fridge as Ben refilled the kettle and plugged it in. And finally, with only the two of us left in the kitchen (the light over the stove was the only source of light at this point), I sat in the nearly chair and put my head down, utterly exhausted.

“If you’re making tea, there’s a container on the counter,” I spoke without looking up. It was amazing just how easily he'd memorized where everything was in a kitchen that was not his own.

“I see it,” he answered, opening the lid and pouring hot water into two mugs still on the counter. I listened to the sounds as he opened the fridge and took out the milk jug. He poured a bit of milk in each and replaced the jug. Once the fridge closed, he walked over to the table and set the mug in front of me. “I know tea does not cure all ills, but it does help.”

“Thank you,” I lifted my head and sat up, bringing the mug of tea toward me. I lifted it and blew on it, the steam extremely hot and fragrant. As it was still too hot to drink, I set it back down and looked over the table at him. “You know, I can’t thank you enough for coming up here. You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to, Karen,” he corrected me, extending his hand over the table, palm up, offering a connection. “I am also very well acquainted with loss, and no one should have to suffer it alone.”

I reached over and took his hand. “I appreciate that, I really do,” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “It’s just…” I felt tears welling in my eyes, and I turned away, hoping he wouldn’t notice that part of it. “It’s just really hit me that my brother is gone, and he’s not coming back.” I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. “What am I going to do?”

He squeezed my hand in response, let go, and came around the table. Sitting down in the chair beside mine, he took my hand again, brought it to his lips, and kissed it. “You’re going to grieve him however you need to,” he whispered in my ear. “It’s not up to me to dictate how you do that.”

“I know it’s not, but I don’t know what to do, Ben,” I gulped. He didn’t seem the least bit bothered that I’d called him by a nickname. “How can I leave my mother here? How can I leave you… my team at the Consulate?” I corrected myself. It seemed I was getting ahead of myself. “I really don’t know what to do.”

He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. “Nothing needs to be decided tonight.”

I breathed deeply, doing my best not to start hyperventilating. When I’d calmed down, I insisted on driving him back to his hotel. I needed a bit of fresh air, and this was a perfect opportunity. I just needed to let my mother know where I was going. I didn’t want her to worry.

As Ben collected his things, I went down the hallway and knocked on my mother’s bedroom door. As I suspected, she was not yet asleep, rather sitting up in bed with the reading light on, going through an old photo album.

“Mom?” I whispered to catch her attention. It worked, she looked up at me over her reading glasses. “I’m just going to drive Benton back to his hotel. He’s heading back to Chicago tomorrow.”

Mom gave me a knowing smile. “Good night, honey. I’ll see you in the morning.”

As I nodded and closed the door, she shut off the light.

What on Earth had that meant?

Ben followed me out to my rental car and got in the passenger seat. We drove in silence, both of us likely exhausted. It didn’t help that Ben had probably only gotten a day’s leave. Perhaps two, if Inspector Thatcher thought she could spare him. Nevertheless, my nerves were shot, but once I got into the car, I felt a sense of peace. Being around Ben seemed to have that effect, although I don’t know why. He and I hadn’t really been particularly close, since I’d only been at the Consulate for about six months.

We pulled into the hotel parking lot. As he opened the door and went to walk in, he almost made it to the door before he turned around and walked around to the driver’s side window.

“Would you like to come in for a few minutes?” he offered.

Blinking, I figured that there wasn’t anything left to lose at this point. We were both off duty, and what friends, even newer friends, did in their spare time was their own business.

“Sure,” I answered. “Let me park the car and I’ll meet you at the door.”

It didn’t take very long to find a parking spot. But then I realized that, in my haste to get Ben back to the hotel, I’d forgotten my jacket. Luckily, I’d parked close to the door, and as soon as Ben saw me walking,  without saying a word he took off his tunic (I’d never seen a Mountie who could work those buttons so quickly) and wrapped it around my shoulders.

“Thank you,” I whispered, holding the neck closed. Ben put a hand in the small of my back and guided me into the hotel, as a gentleman would escort a lady. I felt myself smiling, just a little, as we got into the elevator and made our way up to the third floor and to his room. I caught a glimpse of the room number as he unlocked the door: Room 307.

We stepped inside and Ben quietly shut the door. You know, it’s really funny. It seemed that even though we’d never been close friends, not like him and his partner in Chicago, Ray Kowalski, it said a lot about his character that he’d come up here. And now, sitting down in the chair in the corner of the room, taking off my shoes as he hung up his tunic, I felt as though I’d run three marathons in an hour. All the adrenaline that I’d had suddenly disappeared, and I leaned forward, putting my head in my hands.

He very quietly gave me the space I needed. I felt my shoulders shake as the first tears I’d shed since I’d come back to Regina slipped down my cheeks. There was nothing else I could do; just to try and regain my composure, but I wasn’t doing a very good job of it. Without a word, Ben took my hand, brought me over to the edge of the bed, sat me down, and embraced me.

“God if he weren’t already dead, I’d kill him myself,” I sobbed into his shoulder. “What was the point of him telling me he’d look after our mother if all he was going to do was join up three months later? He lied to me, Ben. He told me he’d look after our mother, and now he’s dead. And it’s my fault!”

“Karen, you can’t be responsible for your brother’s actions,” Ben squeezed me tightly. “He made his own decisions, same as you did.”

“No, it’s my fault,” I insisted, pulling away from him and searching my purse for a tissue. And, like magic, Ben had handed me his handkerchief (which I found almost funny. Very few people still carried those). Dabbing at my eyes, I managed a weak smile and sniffed. “He’d still be alive if I hadn’t decided I wanted to go to Depot. Why couldn’t I have held on a few more months? Why did he have to go and be so _stupid?_ Didn’t he know that she still needed him?” I couldn’t stop myself. The rage I felt at losing my brother through his own stupidity was too much to keep inside. “Didn’t he know that _I_ still needed him? How the fuck could he be so _selfish_?”

And then I lurched forward and curled my arms over my head, protecting myself from the emotions that were just too heavy for me to handle. Ben, being the sweetheart that he is, simply wrapped his arms around me until I stopped shaking.

“Come on,” he helped me sit back up and laid me down on the bed. With one hand on my back to steady me, he pulled back the blankets and tucked me in. “You’re in shock and you need to rest.”

Maybe he was right, which, if my six months of working with him were any indication, he probably was. It had been an incredibly difficult day, and, as always, I had to hope that things would look better in the morning. Although, right at that moment, I didn’t really believe it. Nevertheless, I burrowed deep under the blanket and closed my eyes.

_I watched, waited, as Niall walked towards me.  Fully dressed in fatigues, boots stomping on the ground, helmet on. He’d seen me, and smiled. Walking with his rucksack fully loaded and his rifle in his hands, I knew he had to keep it there, but it was a little unnerving._

_While he kept walking toward me, my feet were stuck in place, as though I’d stepped in glue. I reached out my hands, to see if I could reach him, but he was still too far away. And then he exploded. There were bits of his body flying everywhere, his face burning, his hair on fire…_

_The explosion had blown a hole in the ground, and I was falling. In the distance, children were screaming, crying, banging on walls… I passed a grandfather clock chiming… a dog that looked like Cerberus barked and tried to bite…_

Just as I thought I might hit the floor, I felt myself bolt upright in bed, letting out a scream.

Within seconds I felt someone else on the bed beside me. I’d nearly forgotten that Ben was in the room.

“He died in front of me!” I wailed, shaking. “I saw… I saw… and then I fell through the ground and…”

“It’s okay…” I heard Ben whisper, but it didn’t sound like his voice. I felt his arms go around me, and he just held me, whispering nonsense in my ear. At least I thought it was nonsense. I struggled to catch my breath, my eyes struggling to adjust to the dark. “It’s alright, Karen. I’ve got you. You’re safe…”  

I felt myself trembling as I rolled over toward him, facing his chest. Gently, he took my hand and laid it over his left pectoral. Once I slowly swam back to the surface, I felt a rhythm under my fingertips. “Do you feel that?” he whispered as I opened and closed my fingers. “That’s my heartbeat, Karen. I’m not going anywhere.”

Feeling his heartbeat beneath my fingertips through his Henley was suddenly the only thing I had to keep me grounded in the present, and suddenly I wanted more. A lot more. I _needed_ a lot more. I leaned in and lightly kissed him. He didn’t resist.

Instead, when I pulled away, I saw him staring at me, like a deer in headlights.

“I…” I started. “I’m sorry, I don’t know where that came from.” He still hadn’t moved away from me; he must have understood what I needed.

“There’s no need to be sorry,” he reassured me, turning his face away from me for a second. “I should be the one to apologize.”

“Why? I was having a nightmare.”

“And I can understand why,” I felt Ben nodding in the dark. “But if that kiss is anything to go by, I can’t give you what you’re asking for. I’d feel like I was taking advantage.”

“You’d be doing no such thing,” I insisted. “I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t feel I really needed something more. I feel dead inside, Ben. After me and my mother, there’s no one left, and that’s an extremely difficult thing to think about.”

And, I don’t know quite what happened, but all of a sudden, we were kissing.  His lips were soft, pliant against mine. I think I let out a small moan as I sank further into the bed.

Then nothing else mattered. All I knew was that I needed Ben out of his clothes, and, judging from the way he was lifting himself off of me and gently pushing my dress up, he needed me out of mine. Lucky for me, my dress simply slipped over my head. I still needed to get Ben out of his the rest of his uniform though, which, given the proficiency in which we could change in and out of it, was quite easy for me. Hands were flying everywhere, and we ended up with me in my bra and panties, and him in his boxers.

We stopped for a second, staring at each other. I knew that if either of us said anything, we could both lose our nerve, and I couldn’t let that happen. We both needed this, even if I was the only one able to admit it.

I sat up and crooked my finger at him. Even in the dark, he could see what I was doing. He kissed me again, reaching behind me and unhooking my bra with practiced fingers. Most men I knew would have had a lot of trouble with the clasps. I slipped it off and threw it away from the bed.

Ben’s mouth didn’t stop. He moved from my lips to my neck, gently nipping, and then worked his way down, pushing me back against the pillows. He stopped at my breasts, taking one nipple between his teeth, lavishing it with attention, but careful not to neglect the other, rolling that one in between his fingers.

“Jesus Christ!” I breathed, arching my back, my hips lifting off the bed. If _that_ happened and the only thing he was doing was playing with my breasts… “Please…” I begged him.

Ben groaned in response, swirling his tongue and then making his way further down, trailing kisses down my belly. He moved quickly, pulling my panties down and off, bending my legs up so that they were over his shoulders, giving him complete access.

Oh God, please...  

I must have said it out loud, because then he was there, right between my legs, smirking, and setting to his work. He looked up at me as he was licking and sucking, wrapping his forearms around my legs, holding my hips down. He licked another long stripe and groaned against my flesh, the most erotic sound I’d ever heard. Oh, this was Heaven. I went to thread my fingers in his hair, but he lifted the hand wrapped around my leg and gently swatted my hand away.

“No,” he lifted his head just enough for me to hear him, his voice low and husky. “All about you, tonight. You don’t get to touch.”

Oh he could be cruel if he really wanted to be. As his tongue probed deeper, I bucked against his mouth, faster and faster, until he suddenly stopped, just before I’d gone over the edge.

“Fuck, that’s not fair!” I whined, holding the sheets underneath me in a death grip. “Not now, not now. Don’t stop now!”

“You’re so close,” he moved back, pushed his boxers down. Jesus, he was beautiful. “So close. Let me do this for you…” he sounded almost pained, as though this was taking every bit of self control he had to keep himself from coming. “Let me do this for you. Guide me, Karen…”

Through the fog in my head I reached for him, and did as he asked. He made me take him slowly, not moving until I gave him permission. Once I had, I felt him move. Again, slowly, very slowly. He really wanted to make it last. For both of us.

I reached up and pulled him down, kissing him, possessing his mouth. He moved against me, mouth now on my neck. He nipped me again, and that was it. Both of us had gone over the edge.

My brain was fuzzy, my ears ringing, Ben’s weight the only thing keeping my body from shattering into a million pieces.

When we’d both stopped shaking, he lifted his head and kissed me quickly. I tasted myself on his lips. I’d known he had an oral fixation, but holy Hell, did he know how to kiss, never mind he was positively a master at other things involving one’s mouth in the bedroom.

He rolled off me, and pulled me to him without a second thought. As soon as he did, I felt my shoulders start to shake.

“It’s alright,” he soothed, kissing my forehead. “It’s alright, Karen. It’s okay to grieve.”

I couldn’t say anything, just sobbed. I’d once heard that when the tears were on the outside, the inside was healing, but everything was still too fresh. It was true that I needed to grieve my loss, but first I needed to accept it. I needed to accept that I wasn’t dead, that life would go on, and this had been the first step.

Well, my entire body felt alive. Ben had just given me something beautiful, and now I had to figure out what to do with it.

But I’d figure that out in the morning. It wasn’t long before I was struggling to keep my eyes open, and fell asleep, still wrapped in Ben’s arms.      

ooOoo

When I woke up the next morning, I expected to see Ben getting dressed, waiting until I was awake to tell me that his flight would be coming in, and he needed to get to the airport.

Instead, when I woke up, he was still in bed beside me, eyes closed. But I couldn’t tell if he was asleep. As far as I understood it, he was always “up with the sun”.  But maybe, since we were in Regina, there was no need for him to be up that early, and he was simply letting his body recover.

I moaned and rolled over onto my back. I turned my head to see him smiling.

“Good morning Karen,” he whispered.

I groaned this time, squeezing my eyes shut, forcing myself to focus. “Good morning…” I blinked and looked at the clock on the bedside table. “Don’t you have to catch your flight soon?”

“I took the liberty of calling Inspector Thatcher.” He started, always so formal in regards to the Consulate and our work. “I told her I needed to take a few more vacation days, in order to help you and your mother settle everything.”

“I don’t imagine she was too pleased about that,” I sat up, being sure to take the blanket with me. As nice as it was to be in bed next to Ben, chilly hotel room air on your skin is not so nice. “What did she say?”

“She’s given me a week, since the schedule is fairly light,” he answered. “But next Monday I’m to open the Consulate at 8am, business as usual. She assured me that she and Turnbull could manage.”

“That’s very generous,” I agreed. “But what about Ray?”

“Ray will be perfectly fine, I called him as well,” Ben reached over and grabbed my hand. “Apparently Detective Dewey is also on vacation, so Ray will be working with Detective Huey for the week. But that’s not important. What is important is making sure you and your mother are settled.”

“Me and my mother?” I shook my head. “Wait a minute, wait wait wait,” I blinked. “Ben, I’m not staying up here more than a couple of days, just long enough to make sure my brother’s affairs are in order.”

“I’m sorry, I was under the impression that you’d be requesting a transfer to Regina after all this.”

“Who told you that?”  

“I spoke to your mother at the reception.”

“Oh…” I nodded. “She’s only saying that because she wants me to stay, but she’s got her own life now. She’s happy being an au pair, and I’m building my own life in Chicago. I can’t leave you… guys at the Consulate. I’m happy there, and there’s no reason for me to come back here to Regina, other than to visit. No, I’ll be coming back to Chicago sooner rather than later.”

“My apologies, I was mistaken.”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s not the end of the world,” I burrowed in close to him and gently tugged on his arm, so that his arm was around my shoulder. “You really didn’t have to stay behind,” I started, waiting for the moment that he would tense up. “But I’m really glad you decided to,” I ran my hand over his stomach, rubbing circles. “I don’t think I would have been able to make it through yesterday without you.”

I looked up to see him smiling.

“You’re a great friend, do you know that?” I continued. I knew Ben’s history. Sadly, I knew he’d grown up fairly isolated as a child, and as such, whatever friends he’d made growing up seemed to drift away whenever he had to move. “And last night…”

“Where does that leave us?” he cut in.

I shrugged. “Friends, same as it was before,” I answered.

“It can’t be what it was before,” he insisted, sitting up and staring at me. “What happened last night changes everything.”

“Not everything,” I insisted, matching his gaze, blanket forgotten. “Honestly, Ben, it was something we both really needed. Don’t you agree?”

“Well yes…”

“So, I’m having a little trouble understanding,” I continued, moving closer to him. “If we were both willing participants, and believe me, I know we were both willing, then there shouldn’t be any problem.”

“Not a problem, exactly….” he hesitated slightly. “Just… me thinking ahead.”

“Ahead to what?”

“What if this goes further?”

Well that was a surprise. “Do you _want_ it to go further?” I reached out and grabbed his hand.

“Yes,” he admitted, looking down and kneading my fingers. “I have for a while.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because we hadn’t known each other for very long,” he looked a little apprehensive. “And I didn’t want to scare you, or make things awkward between us.”

“In case you didn’t notice, Benton Fraser, I am so far removed from awkward that asking me out on a date would not have phased me.” I smiled and crawled closer to him. “To be honest, if you’d asked, I would have said yes.”

His face lit up in a bright smile.

“In fact, I have an idea, and I think you’ll like it,” I pulled the blanket back and off of both of us, exposing our bodies to the chilly air in the room. “I think you’ll like it so much that you’ll agree to it right away,” I leaned in and kissed him just above his areola, then got him to swing his legs over the side of the bed, so that he was sitting facing the closed curtains. Then I stood up, naked and exposed, and I leaned forward to cup his chin in my hand. “Do you have this hotel room for the week?”

“Yes,” he breathed, his voice once again low and husky.

“Good,” I leaned forward and kissed him hard, claiming his mouth. “Because I am not letting you out of this bed today.” I shifted slightly, to give myself better balance. “I want…” I used my free hand to tease myself before reaching for him, my fingers wet. “I want to stay in this bed and make love to you all day long.”

He nodded, and leaned forward, crushing his lips against mine.

“I take it that means yes?” I grinned when I pulled away.

He growled low in his throat, an animalistic look in his eyes. Oh, it was most definitely a yes.

I straddled him, groaning as he filled me. It was slow this time, the two of us taking our time to explore each other, enjoy making each other feel good, kissing and teasing each other until we both shattered repeatedly.

I was true to my word. I didn’t let him out of the bed, except when he had to urinate of course. But other than that, he was completely mine.

And, truth be told, I was his.


End file.
